” With Beth leading the way, we went down the hall and up the stairs. I let her get a few paces ahead as we climber the staircase, so that the subtle swish-swish of her bottom beneath the choir robe was in my direct line of sight. We got to the room, and after the third key was tried, I was able to open the door. “I’ll just wait downstairs” I told her. “Come meet me back in the vesting sacristy when you’re done.” “No, please, don’t leave me alone up here,” she replied. It’s too quiet and scary. Can you just wait outside the door? I won’t be long.” “Sure, why not. I’ll be right out here.” With that, she closed the door and pulled the shade to the window. I noticed that she did not latch the door, but took that as a sign of trust. But only a minute had passed before I heard her calling for me to come in, that there was something wrong. I opened the door to what was now a dimly lit room. Standing before me was Beth, her red satin robe open down the front, revealing beneath a matching. It is bothersome though because it is lonely and you begin to feel as if you belong nowhere. That’s just bad for a human being. We are by nature a social creature. We will take up with the worst sort of crowd if we think they are the only ones who will takes us in. I know. I’ve sat at millionaires tables and I’ve sat on a ragged couch in a dank garage where a druggie lived and a lot of time druggies and other low lifes are more compassionate. They know what it’s like to get kicked in the face by life forty or fifty times. I honestly didn’t know if I had a place in the world until I was in my early 20’s.It was during my first vision quest. I was doing it in some swampy woods in the fall near a river. I was nude with just a blanket, my k-bar knife and a gallon of water. I was in the middle of a large bush so humans wouldn’t find me. It was a time of fasting and prayer. A time of closing in on oneself and shutting down the chattering monkey mind while becoming ever more aware of the.
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